The very title of this post in itself is the giveaway to the whole premise of this piece I’m about to pen for you now.

What do I want my kids to be? It’s totally the wrong question to ask.

Growing up had I have said I want to be a musician, an artist, a writer or a singer, infact anything resembling a creative outlet that bought joy to my life I’d have been told quite firmly that those dreams were for “bums and losers” and that I should pick something that was secure, where I had to go to university and get an education for and that would make me money. No where in that conversation was I ever asked what would actually make me happy?

Sure, I can appreciate just as much as the next person the importance of bringing in an income to support myself and my family. I’m doing that now, to three kids. But to say I didn’t make choices to please others growing up would be a complete lie. And I regret that.

Our job as parents is to raise our children to be happy and fullfilled, to treat others with respect and live a life where their moral compass is pointed in the right direction. Everything else is a bonus. To see our children grow into happy adults where their own self confidence carries them through life’s natural challenges is a blessing all parents can only hope for.

It’s our responsibility to raise them with confidence and provide them with the resources and support they need to chase down that happiness. The breakdown in this process happens when parents live vicariously through their children, forcing upon them experiences, choices or decisions that they themselves either didn’t have the opportunity, capacity or confidence to make themselves.

I’m well aware of the anecdote where parents just want the best for their kids. But the best is sometimes different to what we as parents want, atleast for ourselves. Parenting is one of the most challenging forms of leadership and requires an immense level of selflessness.

My three kids are all under seven, so I’ve still got alot to learn about how this is all meant to play out but one thing is for certain–their happiness is front and centre, for no other reason than than they ought to be happy in this life, doing whatever it is that they choose.

If you’re a parent, when was the last time you had a think about all of this?

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4 thoughts on “What do I want my kids to be?

  1. I have to say I enjoyed reading this post so much considering I am still being a child in some meaning and a grown up adult as well, which made me feel both sides!
    The way you writing this post shows up open doors and free thinking willing others to growth including your kids. Most parent forget too about what being happy means…I know and believe that our parent always wants the best for us, but not the best what make us the best!
    For my opinion the most important part raising your children is to give them the power of believing in them selves and confidence, it’s most powerful weapon that they carry with them all their life! And support that keeps them going too ….one more thing is to be a Good example which inspire them to be interested in the goodness if everything and so much on….
    Keep me posted love reading and contributing with such amazing post of yours! Thanks.

    1. Thank you for this lovely input. You’re right in many ways. Yes, I’d agree in part that most parents want the best for their kids. I also think that at times some parents would put their own happiness before the children’s, thinking they are helping their kids but infact it’s for their own gain. Hence the purpose of my article; really, truely putting our children’s happiness at the forefront of need. It’s certainly not about parents also being unhappy for their kids, because that too is not fair. Kindness always plays out, I think both sides need to be selfless. Parenting in general is also a challenge. I appreciate your input. Some great points you have added. Have a brilliant week ahead. Ivan

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