I’m no social media guru and anyone with the title I’d gladly steer well away from. But what I am is someone that finds comfort in socialising online, since real life people, the ones with like, skin, eyes, hair and stuff, I prefer to stay clear of them most days of the week.

Hold up, that sounds real isolated. Let’s just say like you, I’m probably happy being an introvert in life.

I’ve been an active user of twitter for almost a decade. I’ve seen it go from “what the heck is this shit?” to “I can market the heck out of this shit!” to “this shit doesn’t work anymore!” to “twitter is such a great place to build community and everyone supports me on it”, kind of shit.

Of all the social platforms around today, it seems to me that twitter is the closest to real life that we have. I find it strange though that I am compelled to write an article, not as a social media expert (vomit), but as a user of platforms, trying to convince others that we should be more human on them.

Picture this;

You get invited to a cocktail party. You know nobody there. You walk in the door. Everyone is talking to everyone. You enter like Kramer from Seinfeld and yell one of the following statements;

“Hey, come and talk to me, and when you do, I’m going to walk away in the middle of the conversation and ask the same thing at tomorrows cocktail party.”

“Hey, guess what? I have like, 100 new friends, can I have a high five?”

“Thanks for inviting me to this cocktail party, I wont tell anyone here anything of value, but I will ask you to come and look at how green the grass is at my house!”.

I mean, can you imagine the looks on the faces of the people in the room?

This kind of garbage is flooding twitter (and social media in general). Daily. How do people expect to be social on social media when they don’t even socialise.

The masses succumb to the constant self-promotion in a desperate attempt to have people love them before they love others first.

***Re-read that last statement.


Here are 5 ways to be more social, on social;

  1. Answer questions. And if you ask a question, and get an answer? Respond. Revolutionary shit right here.
  2. If someone engages in a conversation with you, and you like them, friend them. Then keep the conversations going. It’s like those times when you’re in the playground as a kid and another kid wants to play hide-go-seek and all of a sudden they are your “best friend”. See, I told you it was like real life.
  3. Put in effort. Followers are relationships. *Mind blown, right?*. They take work. They will need you to log-in each day and engage to keep the relationships going. Yes, some kids are more popular, have more friends and spread themselves thin, we get it… but there is no reason they also can’t be like that friend you never see in years and then when you finally connect, you are like brother and sister material again.
  4. Train yourself not to train. Train dancing at parties is fun, but if you do it every day of the week, it’s kinda not fun. Know what I mean? The “drop your links below and RT” kind of tweets have to be very niche to provide any real value in my experience. These are valuable when the person asking for the links wants to actually read new content, similar to asking a bunch of friends for new book recommendations, that works. But when people try and hack the tweet to get people to look at their blog, channel or page? it’s not cool.
  5. Make friends. And keep them. Can you imagine getting stood up at every date you ever go on? Like, every date? Well, if you have been friended or followed, only to be un-friended or un-followed as soon as you return the favour, you’ll know what it feels like. The only reason I can think of that would make people do this is to have a high ‘follower’ count vs low ‘following’ count. For accounts with huge followings I can understand the need to keep ‘following’ numbers down for sanity reasons, but for us regular, non-fancy folk – romance a girl (or guy). And equally, if your ratios are 1:1, let’s be honest, you can’t really like everyone the same, can you? Balance.

Let’s be honest, the world would be a better place if more people embraced those five rules. I’d go so far as to say we’d be well on our way to world peace.

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7 thoughts on “5 ways to be less ‘un-social’ on social media

  1. I’m so glad you’ve put the world to rights Ivan! Is that the saying? 🤔 You are completely right it’s called social media for a reason, not as a platform for people to blow their own trumpet but to engage with others. Obvs it is important for people, especially bloggers, to get their work seen by others so we do need to post our blogs on for example Twitter, to get it out there but equally it is so important to talk to others and not just be me me me. There does need to be a balance. I think you’ve got the balance about right! This was good to read, thanks for sharing 🙂

    1. You are totally right indeed. Yes, we need to, and it is important as you so well put it, for us to promote our work. But as with anything, balance is key. Appreciate you for reading, as always. And giving your input. Thanks Fiona! :)

  2. This was a great read. Thank you for sharing it on my Twitter reach out.
    I still haven’t fully learned the social media “game” but I do know that it’s nice when people actually try to form some type of relationship instead of just “tooting their own horn”.
    I’ll admit, when I comment on someone’s blog, that means that I’ve taken the time to read it and taken the time to give my thoughts on it. And, when I see that same courtesy reciprocated on my blog, YES it is nice. But if I don’t see the communication, (which honestly is often) it’s not like that’s the end of the world.
    I once had someone leave a comment on one of my blog posts, it literally said ” great post! ” and had a long link to their latest blog post telling me to check it out.
    Then a few days later that person sent me a private message me asking why I hadn’t left a comment on their page yet …. like what’s that about?
    Anyway. I like your thoughts on social media and agree that if everyone treated it a little more human-like then we would all be better off.
    Thanks again for sharing.
    ~ Ray

    1. Thank you for taking the time to both read my article, and even further, comment with such a well thought out and honest response. You nailed it with what you said. I can totally relate to the “great post” and “come check me out” comments, been on the receiving end of that. Exactly, what’s that about? Lol.

      It’s this sort of interaction we have now that is both value adding and relationship building that makes social so much fun and importantly, more fulfilling. Thanks again for such a solid comment. Ivan

      1. Of course! Social media is supposed to be just that. Social… not one-sided. I think it’s lost a lot of the actual meaning of “social” these days.

  3. This post was just what I needed as I’m trying to get more into being active on twitter! Love your perspective thank you for sharing.

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