I was asked by my mentor to consider writing a post that shows the vulnerable side of my self. I nearly choked on the thought. As soon as I heard the word I thought; “I’m going to hate this”.
You see, I have always been one to believe the following;
- “Go, Go, Go..”,
- “No time to be weak!”
- “If you stop, you fail..”
- “Never give up..”
- “Never show weakness… to your client or your competition”
- And the biggest one of all…. I believed that being vulnerable is not conducive to showing your masculinity.
I stand corrected.
The thing is I pride myself on striving for the best. Perfection. After sitting on this thought for a while I have come to realise that being as tough as nails and not showing the flaws I have, the fears I face and the vulnerability that is inherent in me, is actually my biggest weakness. I have been learning a lot over the last 5 days, today is no different.
You all know by now I’m here to Cure Average so to relate to people across the world I appreciate that the process of curing average means not everyone shares the same “achieve, or perish trying” attitude. Because I care about helping people and I value honesty very high I have to let you know that, hey, I’m not perfect, I have flaws too. We all do. But I think it’s what we do with those flaws, with those failures, with our weaknesses, that makes us who we are. I’m not shy to admit that one of my biggest fears in life is not achieving what I want and coming to the end of my time in this world and not having realised my dreams. It scares me like nothing else, second only to being apart from my wife and children who are my number one.
When deciding to launch ivansiladji.com I made the decision to really turn my name into the brand. To create something that people can come to be inspired from, from all parts of the world, from all walks of life, from those with nothing but a dream to those that have dreamed and achieved and then some who have even gone on to lose it all and are back to square one. Each of you is valuable and I want to inspire you personally. In doing so, however, my life, my choices, my journey, my wins and my loses are on the table for you to see and learn from. Yes, I have achieved, a lot in fact by many peoples standards across the world, but then I look at my own mentors and see that I still have a long way to go. But that excites me.
Since I’m here for the long haul and the brand is here to stay and prosper, I’m feeling humbled and confident in my vulnerabilities because behind the brand is a man. Vulnerability does not take away from being masculine, at least not when you recognise it and respect its power. All leaders are vulnerable. They have to be in order influence and inspire. Otherwise they render themselves unrelatable, unapproachable and lacking humility. And we can’t have that. Not here.
I really want to hear from you about this one…
- Have you found yourself hiding your vulnerabilities? What was one or two reasons why? What did you fear?
- How has letting it go benefited you? or How will it benefit you?
If answering these questions makes you feel vulnerable then that means you’re being honest with yourself and now could be a good time to give yourself the honesty it deserves. Leave me a comment.
Image linked courtesy of askmen.