Asking a client for payment? Increasing your fees? Popping the question? Declining an unreasonable work request? Tackling a difficult client? Asking for a pay rise? Quitting your job? No matter what it is that you need to do that needs doing but your not confident to take action on… these 3 steps will serve as a powerful life long tool you can get started on developing right now…
For these three steps you will need just two things…
1. A ‘trigger’ used for the process of ‘anchoring’.
2. An imagination or a memory
What is anchoring, what trigger do I need and what should I imagine or remember?
The process of anchoring, in this context, is intensely remembering or creating, through imagination, a time when you felt very confident and tying to that state of confidence a trigger, such as a sound, touch, smell or some form of gesture, that brings about the feeling of confidence at any moment again in the future when you use the chosen trigger. Confused? Don’t be. I’ll personally run you through it below.
You can pick virtually any trigger you want although the most powerful triggers for emotion are said to be smells. Do you have a favourite perfume or cologne, something soft but unique? That would work just fine… A little sprayed on a piece of card is all you need for example. This will be your trigger.
The 3 steps to confidence…
1. Stand up. Take a deep breath. Hold your shoulders back. Keep your chin up. Breath from your belly up through your chest. Close your eyes and notice the sensation you feel in this state. Think of a time when you felt confident. It could be a childhood memory or a recent one. If you can’t think of one then ask your self, if you were confident, even though you may not be right now, but if you were, what would a confident person feel? How would they stand? Stand like they would. Walk around in the room you’re in like they would. Think of the most confident person you know. It could be a colleague, friend, family member or celebrity. Stand like they would. In your previous moment of confidence how did you hold yourself? How do they hold their shoulders? How do they breath? Stand tall and strong, breathing strong and notice the sensations your feeling. Picture that feeling as a glowing light in your favourite colour, siting like an orb in the middle of your chest while you puff your chest out. Now hold that feeling.
2. Take hold of your chosen trigger, the scented card you have chosen. Holding the feelings you are experiencing, take in the scent on the card you have chosen. Picture that smell being drawn into the glowing orb of your favourite colour in your chest and when it reaches the orb, the feelings you have go from a number 1/10 in intensity up to a 2/10. Feel the now stronger feelings of confidence pouring out of your chest. Strong. Certain. Assertive. Now take in the scent again and as you do imagine the feelings of confidence going up a level again to 3/10. Notice how your body now feels. Notice how your body posture is. Notice your breathing. Breathing deep from your belly up through your chest. Keep your shoulders back. Keep your chin up. Keep your focus in front of you as the orb of colour emerges from your chest. Now take in the smell again. Increase the intensity again, 4/10. Feel the feelings of confidence. Take in the smell. 5/10. Holding the card away from your nose just close enough for you to still smell it continue to imagine the feelings getting stronger, 6/10, your shoulders getting firmer, your breath getting deeper, say the word “YES”, deep from your belly… As you do, notice the orb growing even bigger, so bright in colour it’s bursting from your chest, filling the room with all the coloured light, the smell is strong and you can feel confidence pouring up from the ground, through your feet, up your thighs, through your belly and filling up your chest. 7/10, they are getting stronger again, saying “YES” again, louder and deeper, 8/10, you can take anything in this state, head on, straight through it, no stopping, intensify the feelings again, smelling the card from the distance. 9/10. Say YES again, intensifying the feelings even more… feeling the feelings growing stronger than ever before, pouring out all over the room like a bright, blinding light, filling up the whole room, squeezing out of the windows, doors, roof. Say “YES” again and intensify the feelings again, 10/10, your as confident as you have ever felt before… Say “YES” again, louder, stronger, more confident than ever. Notice how your body feels, notice your shoulders. Notice how you’re breathing deeply, standing tall. Take in a deep breath, you’re strong, you’re assertive, you’re dominant, you’re confident! You’re able to take on anything! Now, breathing deeply let your body relax knowing that the feelings you just felt are just a trigger away, strong and dominant, awaiting to burst out any time.
3. Now… bring them back out. Notice the scented card. Notice that familiar smell. The familiar confident scent. 1/10, increase the feelings, the coloured light is shining from your chest again, 2/10, the scent is strong, your shoulders are moving back, your chin is up, your breathing is strong, 3/10, confidence is growing, the light is filling the room, 4/10, 5/10, saying “YES”, 6/10, 7/10, the scent is strong, the room is filled with light, 8/10, it’s bright and strong, 9/10, brighter than ever before, standing as firm as ever, you’re pacing now, stepping and walking strong, the scent is familiar, it’s confident, 10/10, feel the feelings of confidence. You’re there. It’s you. All you! You got this!
Whatever the situation. Wherever you are. Know that your new found confidence is within you. Just a trigger away. Know that next time you need to be confident that the amazing potential within you is as strong as ever. When you put your favourite perfume or cologne on before that meeting, before that date, before that performance review, before meeting the client, before asking for fees…. you got this. You are confident. It’s all you. It’s who you are!
Image linked courtesy of thatfilmguy.net